Friends

• 09:38 I totally saw Luke Perry last night #
• 14:46 just wanna sleep today and fuck work. Isn't that what the founding fathers fought for? #
• 14:47 i have 809 followers??? wtf #

Having just watched it again, I can't in good conscience not link to Handlebars, by the Flobots. Probably the best song I've heard all year. Thanks, Kyle and Richard, for IMing me out of the blue within 15 minutes of each other to recommend it to me despite never having met.

The Flobots are playing here in August and I'm probably going to have to be one of those assholes who goes just to hear one song.

• 10:58 @seasonothebitch like Riley Wilder #
• 11:45 I can't wait to write a DMZ story on collective punishment tinyurl.com/5erprx #
• 12:17 @mistersizzle supposed to be yesterday, so maybe next week? #

• 09:37 @radiomaru Always nice of them to pack it all together in one file, just to make it easier for people. So kind. #

Northlanders #7, originally uploaded by brianwood.

penultimate issue.

• 09:52 my kid is getting wily - she farted and then tried to blame it on the stuffed animal #
• 14:54 Way to go, US Health Care system: www.cnn.com/2008/US/07/01/hospital.death.ap/index.html #
• 07:36 today is Northlanders #7 day #

• 09:52 my kid is getting wily - she farted and then tried to blame it on the stuffed animal #

I'm having a bit of a war with my small change. See, the problem… um, is that I have too much of it. Okay, yes, too much money, ha ha what an asshole you are, Ian, next you'll be complaining about how your breakfast was just too delicious. Actually, uh… well, more on that later, but the thing is that all this small change is doing me not one lick of good, sitting as it is in a box on my dresser and probably caving in the top slightly. So I'm trying to wipe out some of that change, taking small regiments out on reconaissance with me and eliminating them through minor purchases. A traitor in your midst, change! But sometimes I forget my change and buy something anyway. Shit! Reinforcements! Since this campaign started I have probably managed to get rid of about seventeen cents. Today was a major defeat when I was forced to pay $2 for a $1.06 purchase. If only I hadn't taken that dime out of my pocket this morning!

Finally, another food post.

Would you believe me if I told you this monstrosity was a two-egg omelette? Two. Eggs.

Acceptable answers: (1) Yes, because from that picture, I can't tell how big it is, and so it might just be really small, and you just called it a "monstrosity" because you, Ian, are a pathological liar. (2) No, because you, Ian, are a pathological liar.

To give you an idea of the scale, the thing was about a foot long. TWO EGGS. NOT LYING. Would you also believe that each of the eggs had two yolks? That's right, I ate two pairs of chicken twins this morning. That's why I called that omelette a "monstrosity." Because I am a monster.

Breaking news. My mom was on the phone and called down, "Ian! How many yolks were in your egg this morning?"

"Two each!" I said. Slightly smugly.

"Oh," said my mom. Then, resuming her phone conversation, "Ian only had two."

Only two. Where the fuck is she getting these things? What are they feeding these chickens?

Oops, forgot: Omelette contents, asparagus, sharp cheddar, baby bella mushrooms, smoked salmon.

Wow, it just dawned on me that I watched two movies this weekend, probably more than I'd seen in the three months prior. I bet you're all real impressed.